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in 1989 when our boss invited us to a weekend in the hamptons, so -- but he died before we got there. so we had a good time without him. and i met him while working on adult films in the late 70s. he was the sound guy who went by the name of scotty, but now goes by bill schulz. and next to him, author and tv personality and america's bad boy, greg gutfeld. since he is letting me fill in, i will mention his book "the joy of hate" on sale. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. >> it is like a love triangle, but with four sides. if only there were a word for that shape. the petraeus scandal may have sunk another four-star general as the american commander, john allen is being investigated for inappropriate communications with a woman at the center of this mess. allen allegedly exchanged hundreds of flirtatious e-mails with jill kelley who alerted the fbi when she received harassing e-mails from paula broadwell. and don't order yet. there is more. fox confirms the agent she notified and who triggered the investigation was removed from the case because of his behavior which included s
it came out all right. we know it's important to him. >> andrea: that is it for us on "the five." >>> welcome to "red eye." i'm greg gutfeld. let's go to tv's andy levy for our pre game look. andy, looks like you became an extra from a futuristic soap opera over the last few hours. >> i am from the future, greg. let me just say no hurry. and general petraeus resigns as cia director because of an extramarital affair with his by yoking graw fer. in a related story, i am now looking for a by yoking graw fer. and the shocking story that could have waited a few years. and brad pitt designs a furniture collection. and it makes you say, petraeus, smayus. why wasn't this the lead? >> nobody told you the v neck? >> i wish the people who said it is cool to wear yellow said that to me. >> i look delightful. >> you look like a tiny banana. >> i can't follow that. >> go away strange future boy. >> she is so sharp that magicians use her to cut them in half. i am here with kennedy. she only needs one name. as well as reason.com and reason.com tv contributor. that's a long credit. he just lande
greg contain your excitement. that is it for us tonight. see you back here in 48 hours on "the five." special sunday ♪ >> welcome to "redeye". i'm greg gutfeld i'm known as the cleveland creeper. we new hair cut. what is coming up. >> with the election only a few days away. we'll take a look at latest news and make bold predictions. >> and chinese man sues his wife but did he win. shocking answer i gave away last night but we didn't get to the story. finally why are college campuses giving sources on civility. others say it's another example of elitesocialists trying to drive their agenda to honest hard working americans. >> andy. i haven't heard about your cat. i don't know if that is true. ever since the storm we haven't heard from stormy. you pout weight. >> i would invite you check them out tonight but i know you have to catch the train. >> in this the last show before the election. i want to make it special. we may have a new president by tuesday? >> we won't. >> greg: that is true. go away. such a jerk. let's welcome our guests. look at her. she is so cute she is mistaken fo
floridian, we are such an embarassment, it is always a fiasco with us. or they are just thorough. as it happens, "red eye" staffer is from there and works for the miami-dade board of elections. he is one of the many poll workers counting the final ballots. let's go to him live. michael? >> 6,121. 6,122. 6,523. 6,524. >> mike, how is it going there? the votes will be in soon? >> 1. 2. >> keep up the good work. >> that's the problem. the sum of my thoughts i seek out a metaphor to describe my emotions after this election. >> the metaphor here is the turtle was america having sex and then the turtle fell over and that is america after the election. barak you sane obama stopped that turtle from having sex. i thought miles, your son, was going to be there. >> that was a gast idea. i don't know who agreed to that. he is grounded for rey ecting a bloody -- re-electing a bloody amateur. >> you didn't vote for barack obama, but your son did? >> i can't vote because i am bloody scottish. he doesn't know anything about him. he plays basketball. i was livid. i am going to be on the news toni
nato commander in afghanistan, quote, used terms of endearment, but not in a flirtatious way. as one official notes, if you know allen, and who doesn't, he is the kind of guy who will respond to every e-mail he gets, rut best. you are a sweetheart. that kind of thing. it was the equivalent of phone sex over e-mail which would be e-mail sex. he intends to cooperate and is as excited about it as this dog. >> come on, rico. let's go for a walk. do you want to go for a walk? >> we have to stop. >> he is full blown obsessed. >> we will have to bleep sweetheart and deer. what do you think, innocent, friendly e-mails? if they weren't overly flirtatious, what he was doing -- he was softening her up. he was feeling her out, so to speak. he can make the transition into flirtation when he gets back to the air force base he can maybe polish his bazooka or whatever it was he was looking for. if you spend that much time with a woman back at the air force base in afghanistan you have an ulterior motive. >> by the way, i don't think i heard the term bazooka. >> let me ask you this, the executive dir
banana. >> i can't follow that. >> go away strange future boy. >> she is so sharp that magicians use her to cut them in half. i am here with kennedy. she only needs one name. as well as reason.com and reason.com tv contributor. that's a long credit. he just landed the role of biff in the off broadway musical "back to the future" which means he can quit his career as mall santa. it is writer and comedian jesse joyce. i feel bad for the brawny model you beat up. and in georgia he is considered pie crust. it is bill schulz. it is. it is the shirt from the brawny guy. >> he is so tough he can kill you with a taco. fyi, taco is what he calls a machete. next to me, u.s. army special forces member terry sapper. >> thank you, graphic. >>> he knew the broad well. on friday cia director david petraeus resigned after admitting to an affair. it was revealed that paula brodwell the fbi stumbled on to her name and was concerned petraeus was a victim or there was a security breech on brodwell's part. but according to news max given the top secret clearance and the fact he was married he monitored . amo
? [ inaudible ] >> dana: we love them all. that is it for us on "the five." don't forget to buy greg's book. the shocking story that i am not just saying to keep you tuned. in say no, but for some odd reason imreg -- greg says yes. >> it was the best five and a half minutes of the show. >> i think it was slept. i agree completely. >> the joke is i haven't done it yet. >> go away. >> let's welcome our guests. children are instructed not to touch her. i am here with kttv in los angeles. look at her. she is so adorable. it makes me want to vomit. and it is writer and comedian andy hen dribbing son. his latest comedy cd is called under achiever. a lot of vowels if that name. and my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and large, shirtless men would enter him daily if he was a son gnaw. the cia operative and president of diligence, diligence, makers of diligence dental floss and diligence fluoride. five out of five dentists recommend diligence. >> he waited to say that. too bad it was funny. if only he could comb over this mess. it is day four of the petraeus scandal. fox news reports the former ci
says. telling fox news.com, quote, it is essentially a huge tax on all us business people. and last week after the election, papa john himself reportedly said his employees may face reduced hours, and he expects his business costs to rise because of obama care. for more on the health care law and what it means to employers. let's go to senior cory correspondent, flying dog. cogent point as always, flying dog. joe i go to you first, i don't know why. universal health is one thing, but not if it raises the price of a grand slam. >> i am shocked you didn't go for the joe, you used to work at a denny's. >> i don't believe you have ever had a real job. >> are you right. i think it is a shame that these employee hours might get slashed. anybody trying to get you to spend less time in a denny's, they are doing you a favor. >> they are probably helping your health. andrew, what do you think? are these rational business decisions or are they all political? >> papa john's, you know a sea of big romney supporters. it was definitely -- they did an estimation of cost and they will go up 3 to 4 c
. there is some chemical reaction that turns us into nsa agents. and we will go after those we deem a threat which is apparently what happened here and i guarantee you she knows every pass word she nodes to know. women are better cia agents. no offense, mike baker. >> he says he was in the cia, but the way he dresses it is like, who can believe that? >> he is mad that i didn't go to him first. you were upset. >> i am not. i was laughing about the intro. i haven't actually heard the story introd before. what is your take on this? a, he made a serious, serious mistake. he owned up to it. i think part of the surprise is they are not used to seeing a high level washington official do the right thing after confessing to a mistake. in bill clinton's own words, a couple days before the election he was in an obama rail lee. he stood there and said, you know when i was younger and i was caught with my hand in the cookie jar, i just take my hand out of the cookie jar. we were being lectured about being honest. in his own words, he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. he said i made a mistake and i re
, and how dare you? >> go away liar, denier. >>> she is so sharp that ma machetes use her to cut through the jungle. i am here with ann coulter. her latest book is called mugged. it is about coffee maker juan valdez. and she funnier than a woopi cushion made of flesh. his book comes out this tuesday and i trust it is slightly above meed yolker. don't trust me. in russia he is considered a beanie baby. it is my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and sitting next to me gavin mcguiness, writer for talking mag.com and street carnage. >> what are you doing? >> i have something in my eye, lint. >> let's go to the thing. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. >> by the way, it has been a rough week for everybody, and there is serious stuff going on. we will try to have a fun, light show. and gavin, you need to be on your best behavior. >> coming up, buddy. >> i don't trust you at all. you are a sad, sick man. i can deem everything -- i condemn everything he does before he does it which puts me in the clear. correct? >> yes. it is a get out of me free card. >> a get out of you card. do i wa
that get to use food props when reporting on this story. i am looking at you, glen beck. actually i am not a subscriber, but i know you did this. >> "the five" did it. >> i know you did this. >> this is a true story that they wouldn't let you eat the twinkies onset on "the five." >> well, they claimed they were going to ebay them. but the fact is i think they were using them for "fox and friends" tomorrow. why get more twinkies. oddly enough i notice your last name is baker. >> yes, it is. >> you being in the cia your real name is not really baker. >> of course it is not. >> this is the name of his book, the baker was a butcher. covered in blood on your face. >> they called you the baker because you killed them with con con -- convections. >> that's true. >> you will whack them and then leave a light sprinkling of glaze. it was like leaving an ace of spades on top of the body. >> i feel like we cracked open a classified document. >> can we agree that unions were good at once, but now they are on a suicide mission. if you don't get what we want then everybody dies. it is supposed to be
for news, but you use it to plug your book. >> good point. homerun derosa. >> let's do the first story, shall we? could you have a beau who supports ho? politically-minded singles would not consider anybody voting for, quote, the other guy, end quote. according to the "wall street journal", being a member of the opposite party trumps religious differences, unattractiveness, low education and your stinking job. explains one match maker, people now say i don't even want to meet anybody from the other party, even if it is somebody perfect in every other way. as for a couple who doesn't let politics get in the way. >> harris, i told you this would happen after gay marriage. all of a sudden cats and dogs giving each other massages. i have to tell you, the world is going to hell. we start with gays and now it is cats and dogs. >> did you notice the background noise? it was from the weather channel. it was like a wind econ decision going on there. >> i am trying to control this. something tells me in your dating world politics is not necessarily a priority. >> it is amazing that anybody would
Search Results 0 to 11 of about 12